Why are you doing this?
There are a number of reasons I am doing this. I don’t know if any them are good reasons or accurate reasons, but they are the reasons. Really, these are the same reason written 3 different ways.
- I am trying to get my internal monologue under control. My critical voice is yammering on all the time. It’s influencing my choices. It is transforming the way I see the world and myself. Most if the time my critical voice is working from a place of fear. If I hear what is saying then I can decide wether or not I want it to have as much influence as it has.
- Gary Craig would talk about the comedies of our mind. The thoughts that were in our head that once they were pulled into the light we would see how silly they are. Often times when I do that when they feel true in the back of my head, they don’t out side my head.
- I am trying to find the stories I keep telling about myself and the world as to why we are the way we are. If I am telling the same story over and over again it is a chance to see if it is a story to just get by or if it is true.
Why are you doing it in a public way?
I have no idea if it is a good idea to do it in a public way. Depending on the day of the week or the time of day I could be doing this publicly for any or all of these reasons:
- By creating a publication schedule then I have made a commitment to doing this regularly and I won’t chicken out.
- It might help others face fears and heal.
- I am desperate for attention.
Do you walk around the world in constant fear?
Not at all, these are just the thoughts that have power at 3am and impact me at 3pm when I didn’t eat a good lunch.
Are you depressed?
Not at all. I am a great deal of fun to be around. I really enjoy life. This is just one part of my life. If any of us were reduced down to the fears we weren’t willing to speak then we would sound like we were in rough shape. This is a chance to clear out my own crap.
Isn’t this just the self loathing of an over privileged upper middle class white man?
Probably, but it is the only experience I know. I know I am lucky to have these as my fears and I am not fighting for my heath, my education, or anything else.
Do you script out or plan our what you are going to say?
Not really. I have a sense when I start recording what I want fear I want to face, but I don’t give it much conscious thought before hitting record. I am more surprised by what I say than you are.
Why are so wrapped up in fear?
From my experience all of my actions are motivated at the very base level by either love or fear. If I clear out the fear hopefully I will act more from love. When I act from love I smile a children and I am a better tipper.
You spend a lot time talking about fears in relationships. What’s up with that?
I’m a single, never been married, man in my early 40s. Seem likes something I should be losing sleep over.
When you say “Now I am going to tap” what do you mean by that?
Something like this: Learn to tap
I was wondering about [fill in blank]?
Curious about something else? Ask me on the contact page and I will do my best to answer you.